His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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