No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
