Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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