I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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