hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize