3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The struggles of a small town man whore
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5