Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My dick has a subreddit
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
