I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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