He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
