my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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