But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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