Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
