OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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