Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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