just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
