literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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