If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
