i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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