youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
