It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
