The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
