R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
