For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
