I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
