I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize
