im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
