At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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