Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
