It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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