I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
