You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think my vagina is haunted
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
