I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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