this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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