Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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