It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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