How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
