i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its about making memories worth repressing
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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