I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the condom got lost in my hair
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
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At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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