i jhust puked up my retainher.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
