he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
