I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
