So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
