Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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