I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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