ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
