u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
