If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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