Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
