Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm really into asian looking animals
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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