gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize