my shit smells like andre
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
