so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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