His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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