oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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