"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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