can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize