covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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