Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
