we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He passed out mid-signature
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
